Elaborations

There are some things you should probably know. For one thing, I am a dancer. not the kind of fake, stupid dancing the usual idiots dance, but real dancing! I dance the Lasso, the Milk dance, the Remembering dance, the Tortilla Chip dance, the Come With Me dance, any kind of impromptu dancification of living you don't want to imagine! I should also specify the food we eat. When I first came to the states (California to be specific), I was very skeptical of the food; usually when I thought of food in America, I imagined over-processed, fake, and unauthentic imitations of food, and in general I was right. Even the beer was disgusting. Even a hedgehog would drink that junk (and that's saying something!). Of course they haven't really had much time to develop good alcohol, given that Europe has had hundreds of years to refine our beer making, and America only a couple of centuries. But then again that isn't much of an excuse, seeing as how they had all of that knowledge already at their disposal, but Americans somehow find a way to ruin most things nowadays, don't they? Bunch of cheaters who copied the ingenuity of every other nation, rather than think of anything original on their own. Mind you I'm very fond of them, albeit most of them are rather stupid, what with their language destroying minors, citizens that can't even speak English, psychologists, mind-numbingingly useless and indoctrinaful education system, strange concepts such as "Equal Rights", "Global Warming", "Going Green", and "Feminism" (whatever those are), "Christian" scam artists such as TBN, television with more channels than anyone ever watches, gun bans, liberals (although I think they're mostly just Communists in disguise), Obama (who isn't even black, I might add; and only became president because the country was deluded by a meaningless and dangerous vision, commonly referred to as "Change"), butting in on other nations' business, downright bizarre ideas such as unborn infants not being human, Pantheism (which is just a load of crap that doesn't mean anything), and infomercials. But then again, by far the most beautiful and wondrous thing that great nation ever produced, is Hillary Clinton. She is the reason for America. Everything that has happened, from the Formation of America to the invention of cowboy boots, all lead up to that point in history when the Devil incarnate was born. And as I thought, I was correct in my assumption that antelope are not indigenous to this country. They live here, but they just didn't originally. That's another way Americans are cheating: they steal other countries' flora and fauna and make them live here. Well just let them try to take our kangaroos! Bet they can't handle that! You know, Australia is a rather dangerous place, what with its blue-ringed octopi, a multitude of venomous spiders (one that even hides at the bottom of swimming pools), and platypuses. I am having thoughts of making a special drink: milk with sugar, carbonated. Milk Coke! Anyways, the food. For the most part I was right that American food was disgusting and unauthentic. Then I ate Taco Bell, which is unauthentic, but by no means disgusting. I was so chuffed by the tantalizing gloriousness of food, that I declared it the official food of the Epiphany. Also, my cult does have a Fire Master, In case you were interested. And I am looking for a High Ranger, and there are several prospects for the position, but one of them hasn't gotten back to me with their answer. The main problem is that I haven't figured out what exactly the High Ranger actually does. Also, I have found that apparently it is customary in the states for strangers to yell things like "Faggot!" or, "You look gay!" at people as they drive by them. Sometimes I'm afraid of my toenails falling off.