Haggis

What is haggis? Many of us think we know the answer. Nobody actually knows what haggis is. Indeed, my children, you should very suspicious of this red herring, this haggis. What lurks beneath it's boils of greasy, fat enigma are unknown, but remember the dynamics of hydras; the repulsions of greater tamperings have seen blacker synapses. When dealing with anything enigmatic or unfamiliar for that matter, attempt to justify your existence. If you can't, then there's no point in even wondering what is the truth of the matter; just feed yourself to the hell water and be gone! We have no need of indecisive, scissor-eyes such as that! Remember to save your tumors and carcinogenic tissue and wear it on your monocle, it usually keeps the Rotter away (he doesn't appreciate good eye wear).

Good News

As you may have heard my children, Bill Clinton has been hospitalized. It is a sign! the Mountains are aligning for our Blessed Event! Any time now, Hillary will be unchained, and we will be one step closer to the Epiphany! Thought you should know.